Contentment, is I can have?

There has to be a book or a pamphlet or maybe even a course I could take that could teach me how to take a flippin' compliment, because I'm starting to be ridiculous about it.

So I did a new display for the front of store, kinda just refreshing what we already had but changing it up so that it didn't look so stale and empty.

My coworkers all really liked it and they all told me so, and instead of just saying "thank you", I put down what I did and basically (in not the same words) told them all that they were wrong and that I was trash.

Mind you, when my coworkers do an awesome display or do something wonderful, I give them compliments and they just respond with "Thank you, Gaby." Yet, I have no clue how to do that.

Yeah, I need to work on that because it will probably just become a problem if I let it.

Day 5: What do you need to be content.

 Well, clearly not compliments.

I have such a hard time identifying my emotions sometimes. Like right now, I'm not happy, but I'm also not unhappy. I don't know if to call that just plain old content or maybe indifferent. It's just a feeling of stasis. I'm here, breathing and writing, with no real emotion tied to it.

Maybe there's something wrong with me, or maybe it's just that I never learned to identify these feelings.

BUT! I can identify when I am angry, or sad, or frustrated, or happy. Those I have no problem identifying, it's the in-between that I have no idea what they are.
Maybe I should make one of those mood boards and start tracking my mood throughout the day and week, might then be able to identify those in-between moods.

In the meantime, I guess in those moments which for the purpose of this post, we'll just call it being content, and to be content I need-

  • music
  • warmth
  • an overall feeling of being protected
  • a sense of peace
  • laughter
  • comfort
  • something sweet
  • the feeling of accomplishment
  • cleanliness
  • a cup of tea
  • organization
  • something soft
  • a nice smell
  • nostalgia
Ok, this is starting to turn into some sort of word association moment, so we'll end it there.

But basically, I think this means that I am content the majority of the time. That feeling of stasis, of not moving forward or backward, is me being content.

It's strange to think of it like that, but it works for my purposes.

And today? I think I can say I'm pretty content.

I've got my music on (Ella Fitzgerald), I'm warm (the heater is on), I feel safe (I'm home), I have a sense of peace (I'm going to go to sleep soon), and I'm comfortable. So it's safe to assume I am content.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

STARTING...AGAIN?

Start. Stop. Start. Stop. Start. Stop. It seems to be a constant trend no? And it’s not like I don’t have the time to update this and actually keep track of… well everything. A routine is what I need, but how do I hold on to a routine when work doesn’t allow me to? Meaning that my schedule varies week to week, and I’ve just started school again (yay?), and I need to start getting my butt into the gym again. Ok. So that’s what I’ll do. I will set a routine, or attempt to. I will sit down either at this laptop or my phone and just write. Doesn’t matter what I write, as long as I put letters together to make words, to then makes sentences, to then make paragraphs, etc etc. Start. Stop. Start. Stop. Let’s leave this on a Start
Read more

Be a Super.

I'm gonna be honest. I really don't feel like doing this today. I physically do not feel good, and there's a bunch of stuff currently going on behind the scenes that I just don't want to discuss in a public space. It might be like this for a while, so these posts are probably going to be short for a bit. Sorry. Day 2: A person you admire. I think I covered something similar last month, and I think I said something along the lines that people can always let you down so try not to put much hope in other people. And considering how the mighty have fallen all over, its hard to have heroes. So I'm going to go with the fictional kind. I've been reading a lot of old Wonder Woman Comics, and the more I read, and the more I move away from the movie representation (which I love btw), the more I look to a fictional character for strength. And this isn't the first time I do this. It's very easy for me to look to fictional characters for inspiration and str...
Read more

Which definition?

Day 27: Conversely, write about something that's kicking ass right now.  This feels like an AP English assignment, that is if I'm understanding the use of the word "Conversely". Most white allies would rather not use their privilege for anything other than making a small statement, although conversely some white allies will be kick ass like Jessica Chastain and use her position of power to make sure her costar Octavia Spencer be paid the same as she, using her white privilege for good. That is the standard definition and use of "Conversely" that I am aware of. Or do they mean "conversationally"? In that case: Did you guy hear how Jessica Chastain is totally kicking ass right now? From what I read online, she saw that her friend and co-star Octavia Spencer was getting the same amount of pay that she was getting for the same project. So instead of just stating her objection like most white allies, she actually did something about it. She to...
Read more